i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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