I just made out with a guy for $7.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
