Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
