i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
