dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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