none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
