Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
