I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
