Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
