god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
