She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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