Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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