she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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