Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize