This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Operation Purity has been aborted
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize