I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
