i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
