what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
