Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
