Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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