I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
