just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize