She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
