Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
