pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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