he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
