I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
