No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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