Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
