Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
