I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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