yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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