i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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