what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
