I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
