Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
