thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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