my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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