No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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