i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
