If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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