I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize