Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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