Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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