Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize