Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
