Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
