She's JV to your varsity
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
