In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
