plz talk dirty to me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
