Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
