"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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