I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
