I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
