I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
