the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
