did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
