i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
